Do you ever notice yourself still living by rules you never actually agreed to? I realized recently that part of me still is.

The inner child in me is sitting at a desk in a classroom, listening closely as the teacher explains the rules.

Afraid of losing approval, I soak up every word, determined not to step out of line.

• No talking while she is teaching.
• Walk in a single-file line.
• Be in my seat before the bell rings.
• No food at my desk.
• Keep everything organized.
• Turn my paper into the box.

Rule after rule, I memorize them all.

But I am no longer in that classroom. I am an adult now, in my own home, in an office I created with my own means. And still, it feels like I am back in that room.

The inner child in me is still following the rules. Still afraid of doing something wrong.

But there is no teacher here. There is no boss watching over me.

Somehow I became both the adult and the scared child. Both the persecutor and the victim. Holding myself to a rigid list of do’s and don’ts.

But is this what I actually want?

Am I living? Or am I still following someone else’s plan?

Is the architecture so firmly wired into my mind, body, and spirit that I can no longer feel what life really is?

I found the boy in the classroom.

It’s time to get him the hell out of there.

And I wonder where you might still be following the rules. What are the invisible lines you are afraid to cross? The unspoken classroom you still sit in even though you no longer belong there?

This is important work; finding those places where we are still trapped by someone else’s plan and learning to step into the freedom of our own.

I invite you to take a moment this week to notice one “rule” you are still obeying that no longer serves you. Write it down, question it, and see what happens when you set it down.

With love,

Christian